I Have Cancer – And It’s Okay

It’s crazy how you can go from feeling relieved one day to totally blindsided the next, but here I am. The pathology results from my last procedure came back and they found cancer. Things are still unclear, but so far I’ve been told that this is the best possible scenario, all things considered.

There’s a lot of uncertainty about what lies ahead and how I’m going to navigate it all, but there are a few things that I am already sure of. I’m going to be okay, no matter what happens. To be honest, I don’t know any other way to be. I’m also going to make a lot of jokes about along the way, mostly because I make jokes about everything, but also because it’s a way for me to flip the power dynamic. Cancer doesn’t seem so scary when it’s something you laugh at, especially in 140 characters.

I’ve only known for 24 hours and I can already feel myself becoming more attached to my style as a sort of emotional life raft. It’s one of the few areas where I can maintain control and I’m convinced that there isn’t anything that can’t be made better with a bit of lipstick. Even last night, when I could have been Googling myself into paranoia, I was escaping scary pathology terms with 90s choker searches on Pinterest. This also means that I’ll be writing about seemingly trivial things during a very serious time in my life, but those things will mean a lot to me and those posts will be coming from a protected sacred space. There will be many beautiful Instagrams, but they will rarely tell the whole story.

Not to get all YOLO on you, but life can always get more confusing and complex. You’re never going to have enough money. You’re never going to have enough time. You can appreciate what you have, right now, and the people who support you. I don’t know much, but I do know that it’s going to be okay. And honestly? That’s enough.

About The Author

Thanks for stopping by! I'm Sarah and I love to write about my favorite plus size fashion and beauty finds.

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19 Comments

  1. 4.15.16
    Yana Yaya L said:

    Sending you nothing but love!! A diagnosis can go through stages, some days humor works best and some days you’re vulnerable, and it sucks, and I guess we’re mortal after all, and that doesn’t make you weak. I’ll be here to read and support – and I’m sure I won’t be the only one!! I can be terrible at responses so if this isn’t of any help, please trust that the intention was to be >.<

  2. 4.15.16

    Sarah!! My spidey senses tell me you’ve already beat this! I’ve always loved your big smile and charming spirit. Wishing you nothing but the best and I’m sending you all of the love and light! xoxo

  3. 4.15.16

    I’m really sorry to hear this. But I’m glad you are staying positive and I am sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.

  4. 4.15.16

    Sarah, I love you. Your attitude and strength will carry you far through this time in your life. I am here for you if you want to talk, vent, laugh, anything. Sending you lots of love and positivity. <3

  5. 4.15.16
    YoSillyAzz said:

    Wow, bummer and exactly my attitude when it happened to me. Believe me if you are as easily amused as I am, those jokes are going to be rolling off your tongue. I hope it’s not too much of a bump in the road for you.

  6. 4.15.16
    Stevie said:

    So sad to hear this Sarah! Wishing you all the best…. and a speedy recovery too.

  7. 4.15.16
    Stevie said:

    So sad to hear this Sarah! Wishing you all the best…. and a speedy recovery too.

  8. 4.16.16

    You are a treasure, Sarah Conley! A hilarious, inspiring, drop dead gorgeous treasure. <3

  9. 4.16.16

    Sending you prayers up and love.

  10. 4.16.16

    Sending you prayers up and love.

  11. 4.16.16
    A Girl's Gotta Spa! said:

    And even in this post you are smiling. It’s always contagious. 🙂 praying that whatever type it is, its curable and you’re Ok. xo

  12. 4.16.16
    ItsMeKellieB said:

    Praying for you, you got this .

  13. 4.17.16

    Thank you for sharing this with us. You have an amazing attitude. Sending love.

  14. 4.18.16
    Vivi N said:

    This sucks. Even though it’s easy for me to say this but I really admire how you’re handling this situation. Like I told you before, your positive aura is out of this world. When one of your smiles comes through my Instagram feed, I instantly smile; it’s that contagious.

    Wishing you the best.

  15. 4.20.16
    Laura Gamble said:

    Wishing you all the best – thank you for your style advice, your incredible honesty, and for sharing this. Lots of people are cheering you on

  16. 4.25.16
    Carissa said:

    Sending lots of prayers and love your way!! We are here cheering you on…you can beat this!!

  17. 4.25.16
    Carissa said:

    Sending lots of prayers and love your way!! We are here cheering you on…you can beat this!!

  18. 4.25.16
    Melissa said:

    You are in my thoughts. I know you have people who will be strong for you on days that you feel you can’t be.Take things days by day. Keep that great attitude. We are all here as well. Rooting for you.

  19. 4.25.16
    Karen said:

    I don’t really know what the right thing to say is, but I’m just pleased that you are ok and are going to be ok, no matter what happens. x